First few pages of "Levels"

Going through and revising/correcting my Crime Thriller Sci Fi thingy "Levels" (Working title) and thought I would share the first few pages of it.

The crime scene was pretty unremarkable. The dead man who lay behind the small counter, his neck blown off, blood splatter in an array behind him, had contracted with Talbot before, offered simple collection work for deadbeat credits. The store was a small shop in the jewelry district. It was not more than ten feet wide and, with the back room, only about twenty feet deep. Two beat cops milled nervously around the dead man. The family must have called him right after they called the cops Talbot thought as took in the scene. No sign of break in, the dead man knew the shooter, the glass cases intact, nothing was stolen. It looked like a hit. Talbot was about to ask one of the regular protocol  who was the detective assigned when she walked in the door.

Talbot knew she was a detective, you could always tell Protocol Dicks, they dressed better, had an air of simultaneous boredom and superiority about them. He could see right away she was not from level 29.. Her demeanor was all Protocol, she scanned the place and focused in on the beat Protocol. Behind trailed a tall thin man with a pencil moustache. The woman conferred with one of the beat guys quickly. Then she turned around, scanned the room again.

"Ricky,” she said, offhandedly to the thin man, “Go get the kit from officer Kindermans mobile."

"Uh, that's Kinderweiss…"

She did not register the man’s objection. "And also have him call coroner. And you, out, no civilians, this is a sealed area." The woman had turned to look at Talbot, who was standing to the left of the front door.

"I'm not a civilian Detective."

"Who are you then?"

"I represent the family of the, uh, deceased. I am here to make sure the department does its best to find the man’s kill-"

"You the polish eh?"

Talbot smiled a wide grin. The Polish was not a 29 term.

"You're not local department are you?" he said, trying to sound casual, but inwardly bracing himself for a fight. "Upper levels I would say… 35? 36?"

"34. How did you know?"

Talbot smiled again, he had overestimated the level on purpose. No sense starting off on the wrong foot with the woman. He had guessed 33 or even 32 really, but was glad he'd overshot a little. Nothing like a little compliment to start things off.

"Down here we're called the Assist, the ‘Polish’ is upper level. Also, the clothes you're wearing…"

"What about them?" The woman momentarily looked concerned. Talbot filed that away, she was concerned with her appearance, and not vain, just wanted to be sure she looked the part. Talbot looked the woman up and down briefly. She was small, but not especially short, five feet six or seven he figured. She had the trim look of a women in her early thirties, not young anymore, but still able to clean up well. Her brown hair had been colored, but in a way that spoke of a quality salon. Her suit was crisp, but close enough to show off the body but not too close to be suggestive or appear trampy. She was, in short, a study in control and precision, this was someone who did not leave much to chance.  This, he could work with.

"They're a couple credits above what the average person round here can afford."

"Look, Mr…"

"Singh, Talbot Singh." He smiled, offered his hand. She shook it perfunctorily.

"Mr. Singh, you need to leave. Or at least go onto the street. I can assure you this case is in good hands."

"No doubt Detective…"

"Detective Orson."

"Orson, but I insist. I promise to not interfere-"

"It's not a request Mr. Singh, out, now."

"Detective-"

"If you don’t go I will ask Officer Kinderbody to escort you out-"

"Kinderweiss can vouch for me."

"Mr. Singh" Any attempts at civility had left her voice now. "Now."

"Ok, leaving. Only, don't be mad at me when you realize the huge mistake you’re about to make."

She opened her mouth and then closed it, a looked crossed her eyes. He had guessed correctly. Here was someone who hated to make mistakes and the lack of control mistakes presumed.

"What mistake is that, exactly?"

"The victim." I nodded toward the man slumped on the wall behind the counter. She Turned to look at him too and then back to Talbot.

"Yes?"

"He's holding a playing card."

"OK."

"A gang hit."

"Which one? I thought 29 was pretty free of gang activity."

"Gangs, yes, activity, not so much. It's not this level, probably lower."

"Which one?"

Talbot smiled again, which drew a deep frown from the Detective.  "Ahhhh, well, you see that is where I can be of service. I have... I would not say friends, but people I know down in lower levels…"

"How low?"

"25, 24, 19 even."

“Great, thanks. I’ll take that into consideration. I can get our gang activity people to look it up-“

“How long will that take? A week, more?”

“Perhaps- not that it-“

“I can get it to you… tomorrow morning, latest.”

“Mr. Singh, you need to leave. Kinder… Kinder guy!”

“No need to blow Detective. I’ll go. Just be careful. I know this looks like just another hit…”

“And why wouldn’t it be?” The detective held her hand up to stop the incoming beat cop. Kinderweiss looked annoyed and then looked at Talbot. He rolled his eyes.

“Well, it looks like one, that’s for sure. Sloppy work, they broke the window and the lock, the victim was going for a weapon, everything checks out pretty normal-like, right down to this.”

Talbot picked up the playing card, turning it over in his hand.

“That’s evidence-“

“Yes, sure, all pointing to a perfectly normal crime scene… except… except…”

“What? What is wrong Mr. singh?”

Talbot stopped looking at the card and looked up at the posh detective from level 34.

“You. You are Detective, all wrong.”

Detective Olsen tilted her head as if looking at a strange bird in a cage.

“Go on…” she smiled slightly.

“What are you doing here? My guy, he’s good people. Been running this store for twenty years, never any problems. Probably because what he sells is low rate junk, but still. And now he gets hit and instead of some third shift Decker, they send Ms. Uptown herself. I’m not trying to make trouble Detective, but so far this whole thing just reeks of something…”

Detective Olsen did not say anything, she just held out her hand to take back the card. Talbot began to give it to her and held it back, his eyes asking “So…?” She sighed.